Alright so listen up girls and boys with bleeding nether regions:
Buy Always Infinity with Flexfoam. Buy nothing else. Buy Always Infinite with Flexfoam.
This sexy beast. There’s a bunch of versions. But so long as it says Infinity and Flexfoam, fucking GET IT.
So I’ve always been a fan of Always pads. Can’t stand tampons because of all the horror stories and in general, they’re uncomfortable. Always just seems to be the brand that’s always there so we always got it.
Every since Always released their Infinity brand, we’ve literally hated everything else. Even the regular versions of Always. Infinity is the way to go. It is the ONLY way to go.
Infinity is like the only way we can keep our damn bedsheets and clothes bloodless. The first night I got my period I woke up with my boxers just soaked. Completely soaked. Blood. Everywhere.
So I just pop into the bathroom and thus far we’ve only got regular Always pads. Put one on. It’s about as miserable as you’d expect. The pad shifts as you sit and move and when you change pads you’re probably changing underwear too because of the blood just seeping out the sides and getting everywhere.
But then we have Always Infinity. With the Flexfoam. You know that bullshit on the side of the box brands spew where they’re like THIS SUPER INGENIOUS INVENTION WITH A FANCY NAME IS GOING TO GIVE YOU PRISTINE CLEANLINESS AND ULTIMATE PROTECTION AND THATS WHY WE USE FLEXFOAM.
They’re not fucking kidding guys. This isn’t a fucking game. These pads are relentless. No blood gets by. You’d probably have to unhygenically use one pad 24 hours+ before the blood will actually leave the pad and get anywhere.
In addition to that? It’s invisible.
Okay look, guys. I’m trans. I’m a transman. I’m a fucking dude. I don’t suffer from dysphoria but nothing annoys and irritates me more than knowing I am wearing a fucking diaper because I can feel it everytime I move and stand and sit down.
Not these bitches. No fucking way. They’re thin, they’re super big and they’re completely inmovable. I don’t have to keep grabbing at my crotch or my ass to readjust the pad lest blood be splashing everywhere. It stays in one fucking place and it doesn’t leave until you rip it out yourself.
THIS SHIT IS SO NICE. GO GET YOURSELF SOME. PLEASE SAVE YOURSELVES. SAVE YOUR UNDERWEAR. SAVE YOUR QUILTS. SAVE YOUR BED. HERE’S SOME COUPONS.
Rebloggin’ by request of the moum
I can say the same. These things are the shit and its beautiful. Whoever figured it out how to make them I’d very much like to thank, and I’m pretty sure my underwear would too.
A long time ago I read that Always pads make ur hingy itch but this person seems to really like them so I guess that problem was fixed. The thing i read was at least a year ago, probably more.
HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS when I was in Toronto (one night in a nice hotel downtown and of course I got my fucking period) and the mini mart had these on sale so I took the risk and THESE ARE INCREDIBLE
THIN! No leaks! No blood down the ass crack! FLEX FOAM FOR LIFE!!
Always Infinity and Always Radiant are the same exact product. Both have the flex foam but Radiant just has a fragrance to it + more colorful packaging. When one is on sale, the other one generally isn’t so buy the one on sale! Also, once you finish, the boxes can have coupons on the inside so use those on your next purchase!
“A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”
"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”
"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”
"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”
"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”
"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”
"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”
“I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.”
What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
Yesterday I learned that tampons were not originally created for ~feminine hygiene~ but for plugging up bullet wounds for WW1 and the nurses started using them and were like actually this is p effective and voila tampons thanks WW1
so what you’re saying is that tampon commercials should be shot like war films
Yes.
Are you saying that periods are equivalent to bullet wounds
A girl who’s normally very passive and quiet lashes out at a boy for making a gross comment. She’s more aggressive than usual today. “Is it your time of the month?” He asks with a smirk But he’s right. It is her time of the month. The full moon peeks from behind the clouds and she transforms into a werewolf and devours the boy whole
(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ✧ 